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03 / The collection
Say it plainly.
Find the useful thought beneath the impressive language. Give it some air.
Pick a page · Three ten-minute exercises
Choose an exercise
Ten minutes · One page
A notebook · A pen · One suspicious sentence
The Bollocks Audit.
“We deliver innovative, customer-centric solutions.”
Splendid. What do you do?
Most of us have written a sentence like that. Sometimes we’ve paid someone else to write it. This exercise gives it a chance to earn its place.
The invitation
Find a sentence from your website, an email or a document that sounds impressive but leaves the reader doing the work.
Start with your own writing. There will be ample opportunity to criticise everyone else later.
On your page
Copy the sentence by hand.
All of it. Even “holistic”.Write three questions beneath it.
• Who does what?
• What does that mean in practice?
• What does the reader need to know or do?
Answer in everyday language. If you can’t answer one, put a question mark beside it. That gap is useful information.Explain it to a sensible friend.
Imagine they’ve asked you over coffee. Write what you would actually say.Check what changed.
Have you made the meaning clearer? Have you accidentally removed a condition, limitation or important fact?
With formal requirements, keep the original alongside your rewrite and check that the meaning survives.Read it aloud.
Anywhere you stumble, pause. Anywhere you feel an urge to put on a special business voice, investigate.
A sentence under examination
An illustrative example · Before
We facilitate the implementation of robust organisational frameworks to optimise internal knowledge dissemination.
Who does what?
We help managers share information with their teams.
What does that mean in practice?
We set up a short weekly briefing and somewhere staff can find current instructions.
What does the reader need to know?
They can get help when important updates aren’t reaching staff.
After
We help you keep staff informed, with short team briefings and clear instructions they can find when they need them.
The rewrite is longer. It also tells someone what they might be buying.
Plain English sometimes takes more words.
Before you close the notebook
“Could someone act on this without asking me what I meant?”
If the answer is no, add the missing detail. If the sentence has no useful job, you’re allowed to delete it.
A satisfying moment. Take your time.
Take it further
Try the exercise on a whole page. Watch for phrases that recur without adding anything: “where appropriate”, “as necessary”, “in a timely manner”. Sometimes they have a precise purpose. Sometimes the writer has quietly left the decision to you.
Making complicated requirements understandable is part of my work at Lime Consulting. I help businesses turn anti-money laundering obligations into policies, procedures and training people can use.
For more observations on life, tools and the words we use: Writer Interrupted ↗
Ten minutes · One page
A notebook · A pen · Something you offer
Your business in thirty words.
Someone asks what you do. You take a breath.
Three minutes later, they’re looking over your shoulder for someone they know.
The invitation
Describe what your business does in thirty words or fewer. Give the listener something they can understand and remember.
If you don’t run a business, try a project, club or service you’re involved with.
On your page
Write three rough answers.
Who do you help? What do you help them do? What does the help actually involve?Join them into a sentence or two.
Use words your customer would use. “Training for new managers” tells us more than “leadership enablement solutions”.Remove the compliments you’ve given yourself.
“Innovative”, “leading” and “world-class” can wait. Show the work first.Count the words and read it aloud.
Thirty is a useful limit, not a law. Don’t trade an important fact for a clever abbreviation.Try it on a willing reader.
Ask them what they think you offer. Their answer is more useful than a polite “sounds good”.
What a page might look like
An illustrative before
We provide bespoke, end-to-end compliance solutions for forward-thinking organisations seeking to optimise their regulatory frameworks.
A possible rewrite · Under thirty words
We help small businesses understand their anti-money laundering duties, with clear policies, practical staff training and advice on putting the rules to work in their day-to-day operations.
It won’t answer every question. It gives the next question somewhere useful to begin.
Before you close the notebook
Could someone recognise themselves in the people you help? Could they picture what they would receive?
Take it further
Compare your sentence with the first paragraph of your website. Are they describing the same business?
Clear explanations are central to my work at Lime.
Ten minutes · One page
A notebook · A pen · One vague instruction
Turn a rule into an instruction.
“Please ensure all relevant information is submitted in a timely manner.”
I shall do so, as soon as I’ve established what, where and when.
The invitation
Find an everyday instruction that makes the reader guess. Rewrite it so they know how to act.
Start with a low-stakes example: booking a meeting, sending a photograph or handing over a task. If you’re working with a formal requirement, keep it alongside your rewrite and check the meaning carefully.
On your page
Copy the original instruction.
Underline anything the reader would have to interpret.Answer five questions.
Who acts? What do they do? When? Where does it go? How do they know it’s complete?Mark missing answers with a question mark.
Find them out. Don’t invent a deadline or requirement to make the sentence look finished.Write the instruction in the order someone will follow it.
Use a short numbered list if there’s more than one step.Check the awkward case.
What should someone do if they can’t complete it or need help? Add a contact or next step where needed.
What a page might look like
An illustrative example · Details confirmed for this example
Original: Please submit your material promptly.
Rewrite:
By Thursday at noon, email your 100-word introduction and one photograph to the workshop organiser. Include your name in the subject line. The organiser will reply to confirm receipt. If you can’t meet the deadline, contact them before Thursday.
The extra words are doing jobs. Each one saves the reader a question.
Before you close the notebook
Read only your rewrite. Could someone complete the task without the conversation you had in your head?
Take it further
Give it to someone unfamiliar with the task. Ask where they’d hesitate. Make one improvement.
At Lime, I help businesses turn anti-money laundering obligations into procedures and training people can use.
Keep a page turning
Something else to try?
Find your next ten-minute experiment.
Crossings-out welcome.
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Enjoy the way my mind wanders?
There’s more at Writer Interrupted: essays, stories and longer work, beginning with a few pieces you can try for free.
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